Transparency, consent and publicity

Per Slack conversation @moniquekurdian - no, transcripts have not been de-identified. That was the purpose of raising this proposal, to see where people's comfort zones lie and remind us all to the realities of what we have agreed, consciously or not, to participate in. And that "consciously or not" is a big problem, something we need to address with an ELF rights & responsibilities document or additions to our constitution or something to make all the things we say we are aligned with things that we actually practise daily.

I hear from some of you that you feel this is not important. I strongly disagree, and wish that I had more people in my life who understood what living in community really means, as well as the challenges involved and ways through them. Sage council is the only way we will ever get through this together, and it is something I am drawn to out of necessity. If you are unable to appreciate things through this particular lens or engage with me in dialogue as to the functioning of our group then that is fine, but I ask that you do not act to prevent me from doing so or diminish the importance of group cohesion.

Which brings me to the second point: I hear from others that you do not want me to be representing the community or speaking on behalf of you all- that is accepted and well understood. As @deancameron pointed out, my writing contained personal reflections and inaccuracies; and that is the entire point of writing it. The only way for me to learn about myself as well as the group is for me to air my feelings and thoughts openly so that others can bounce their experiences off them and give me fresh perspective. Otherwise, there's no point in writing. So the writing is important.

It seems that consent is still not something that we consider important or take very seriously, and as a publicly-facing group that is a problem. So this is what I have done: I have redacted the names from my journal post and I have published it. It still links to our public Drive folder, our constitution, the ownership tracking sheet and our Loomio group; so though I no longer talk about "LifeBubbles" or "ELF" anyone with an interest to learn more about what is happening here has some breadcrumbs to follow. All of these things are well-known, well-communicated public spaces and as a participant in ELF you have already agreed to such information being made publicly available.

The meeting minutes are not linked directly, so anyone reading and clicking through to Drive would have to dig to find them. As was documented in a forgotten process manual long ago, you should all have already signed off on the meeting minutes as being a fair and accurate account of events. If you have not done so then this is a failure of process and another reminder as to the importance of staying in the loop on bookkeeping matters. If having names in there concerns you then you are free to go in and remove them @deancameron @moniquekurdian @sun7 @kitteaasdis. I'll make it easy for you- the document is here.

If anyone is interested in preserving my reflections here in cyberspace I am more than happy to send a final copy of the published article (%VOlF36HcRR6tcwTfOqR2omxCAVxgdcWWDv65qNLF9rQ=.sha256), which has a revised preamble and couple of additional insights that felt relevant. I welcome any and all debate and discussion on the topics of what we've learned and how we can do things better. Reflections are a group effort.

Future minutes of meetings have coded names as a standard?

The group did not want you to publish without first presenting to the group and allowing others to offer their perspective and feelings around events. We are not out to silence you.

If your point of writing is to bounce ideas of others the why haven't you shared your journal writing here? As mentioned previously and directly to you solution based communication is much more engaging than emotional dumping. In your correspondence I have not seen you make requests after identifying your needs that underly the feelings you have on matters. In quite a few of your emotional posts you actually state that you do not want a response. Also the tone of the messages I have read of your emotional shares have not been in alignment with our communication values and I have opted out of exposing myself to that unnecessary communication style.

I am sorry you feel you are not getting engagement, I recommend considering a more engaging approach to getting what you are after.

I am pretty sure we collectively voted in person that before public communications are published they are reviewed by the group. It is obvious that the meeting minutes will be published, but your personal reflections that are only one form of the truth need to be brought into context for the protection and accurate representation of ELF. I am all for transparency and not avoiding it, but the publishing of your journal after a majority voted against the terms you proposed is IMO a breach of our agreement. The proper approach would have been to present your case the following week to aim for a 75% agreement, ideally presenting your journal also.

Where is your journal published? I was unable to find it via the link you provided, only found the meeting minutes.

@pospi It seems that consent is still not something that we consider important or take very seriously, and as a publicly-facing group that is a problem.

Ah Sam I feel for you. It seems like you are feeling isolated and in need of some face to face listening. I can feel your anguish in your posts and also some bitterness and the resentment you have mentioned a few times. I’m sorry I am not there as loomio threads are not the best place for genuine human connections. It’s great for pragmatic getting stuff done. The reason I voted against you publishing an elf journal was because I felt the last post you did misrepresented me personally and the group and there was no opportunity for feedback prior to it being published. To this end it seemed more like you needed to make a connection with people you felt understood your frustrations rather than it being an opportunity for the group to reach out and get help for problems it feels it has and other people may be able to give wise inputs on. Please don’t take offence but I don’t think it is fair to represent the rest of us in the group as being too capitalists or j it community minded or lacking empathy engagement or insights you feel you uniquely have at the moment. I think there is a lot of collective wisdom in the group and also that we ha e made a lot of great progress in refining our structure and a pretty good but certainly not perfect constitution. I can’t see how it benefits our existential need for getting a new community member or two to be decrying how dysfunctional and lacking in insight we are as a group? dam I think you may need help from a professional psychologist rather than venting to the group. We all really care about you but we are not really qualified to provide more than love and support. ❤️

Okay. I see how it is, guys.

This kind of judgement and rhetoric is what makes ELF an unsafe and unsupportive space. I expected better, from Dean at least, than to take the approach of ignoring and minimising someone's issues by painting them as mentally unstable. It's a very convenient way to cast someone aside without having to take anything they say seriously. I have been to see a psychologist - thanks for your support - and if you had paid attention to Slack before the barrage of negativity chased everyone away then you would know that. By the way, her opinion?- this is a toxic environment and I should get out of it.

You all seem to be deeply confused about my intentions and are mixing up multiple different writings into the same document. I already did present it to the group- the email was entitled "Explicit consent for digital publications & connecting to the microsolidarity network" and I sent it 9 days ago. Perhaps you ignored it because you didn't think it was important, Sun. I didn't post it here because I was (quite politely and generously, I thought) sending it through a private communication medium rather than a public space. I don't understand where the bulk of Dean's above objections are coming from unless he is talking about Loomio comments ("too capitalists" / "not community minded") rather than the article in question. The other items he brought forward were either clearly contextualised as feelings I have or were simple facts. How have I misrepresented the group?

To repeat- it's just a blog post, from my own subjective viewpoint, discussing my own experiences. It would not be appropriate nor make sense for others to offer their perspective and feelings around events as part of such a journal. What would be appropriate, and what I would have enjoyed seeing, was others taking up the initiative and offering their own writing in similar journals that would build up a plurality of perspectives about ELF and community building in general.

The point of writing most certainly is to bounce ideas off others. Sun- check your facts before you start with the judgemental holier-than-thou attitude. Is it "emotional dumping" to convey my perspective and update you all on my actions? Where does "emotional dumping" end and "caring for each other" begin? Did I need to make any further requests other than for those who are concerned about names appearing in public ELF meeting documents to redact them? You tell me.

your personal reflections that are only one form of the truth need to be brought into context for the protection and accurate representation of ELF

No, they don't. They just need to be framed as being personal, which they are.

publishing of your journal after a majority voted against the terms you proposed

That's why I changed the terms. I read all of your concerns, I addressed them, and the resultant state that publicly visible documents are in is the exact same state we have all already agreed they take. No vote is necessary to publish an article of personal reflections on community building which cites a broader collection of community documents (thus bringing my perspective into additional context, something you appear to have missed).

Yes, we voted that before public communications on behalf of ELF are published they are reviewed by the group. We did in no way vote that we should quarantine everyone's personal blog posts until they have been tailored for everybody's comfort. Let me be very clear- it was an act of politeness and respect to even ask this question in the first place and there is absolutely nothing preventing me from discussing my personal experiences online.

it seemed more like you needed to make a connection with people you felt understood your frustrations rather than it being an opportunity for the group to reach out and get help for problems it feels it has and other people may be able to give wise inputs on

Well, you're wrong. The two are one and the same. I can only presume your negative Slack outburst about technology intruding upon your life and social media being the root of all evil is intertwined with that perspective. I get it- social media is awful. But an online community functions very similarly to an offline one in that whatever dynamics it is seeded with will become the norm. I am posting in a community of community builders with centuries of combined experience in harmonising groups of people, and they are a constructive, helpful and emotionally supportive lot. If you think I am shitposting somewhere looking for others to chime in and tell me what bastards my housemates are then you really don't know me at all.

In answer to the question- it's published on Scuttlebutt, under the ID I provided in the above post.

I can’t see how it benefits our existential need for getting a new community member or two to be decrying how dysfunctional and lacking in insight we are as a group?

Because if you keep burying your head in the sand about the dysfunction instead of addressing it, you won't have a group much longer.

This weekend, between being bullied and condescended to by Sun and having the both of you make judgements and assertions to my mental state, you just lost another one. Nobody here appreciates the effort I put in or accepts me for who I am, and I'm over it. My rent is paid up until the start of April and I will be moving out when I get back from NZ in the middle of the month.

yes, families can feel uncomfortable especially when people put forward suggestions that may not be welcome and may even feel unloving and unjust. Sam, I have felt you do need support and nurturing since you sent me the fuck you message. Of course I can never really know what is going on for you but the strength of the emotion seemed out of proportion to what I thought was a fairly calm attempt to discuss some fairly basic financial concepts and to be portrayed as a capitalist trying to take unfair advantage of others for persisting with reasoned discussion on why it isn't appropriate or fair to seek capital shares for operational effort. i felt you were in distress over this and it seemed unreasonable to me. Im not the person you seem to be painting me as, so we both perhaps are not getting each-other but i can still care that you are ok. i actually genuinely care for you and i meant every word of what i said in appreciation of you. Still, i thought you needed help and I'm glad you sought it. (yes i did disconnect for a while - i felt overwhelmed by the volume of discussion and in the context of the fact that we have had many many months of no real engagement) with important pragmatic stuff that we needed to sort out as a group to go to overload was both welcome and at the same time too much. you must know i have a busy life and have been focussed on getting practical stuff done. an organisation needs that just as much as being organised. you have introduced some nice tools and we are learning to drive them as we can. Rome wasn't built in a day as they say. in any case this probably just sounds like a justification for being judgemental I'm guessing. part of wisdom is to take it easy to bring people along, do it with equanimity. we are a tiny speck of matter in a very big cosmos and in a billion years us and our planet will be obliterated. I have been in a dark place where I tried to commit suicide. given what you said at the Jan meeting I would not consider myself a friend at all if I just ignored what seems to be happening for you based on only your words to us. I'm not there to talk it thought and just saying i don't think ELF is a toxic unsafe place is i guess pretty empty for you right now. There is no need to rush to a life-changing decision Sam you have a break coming up where you can reflect on it. You are free to choose to stay or go with good will. I think there is more love for you here than you realise. if you choose to go please get your share register up to date as your effort will be rewarded whether we have to sell up or we improve incrementally and thrive and grow. talk when you are back. :heart: